My twin sister, Vanessa, died instantly in a car accident 6 years ago today. She was half of me. She was beautiful. She had a heart of gold and I miss her. Everyday.
Truly, it's a simple as that.
I believe that I have coped better than most. I credit that to a lot of challenges in my life previous to her death. Those hardships really did prepare me for the biggest loss of my life and grief has taught me many things. This isn't a post about sadness. This is a post about hope.
What I have learned about life in losing my twin is this:
- Grief is personal and is different for everyone. Never judge.
- Your best friend may not physically be present but the memories you have are the most amazing things, but only if you allow it.
- We have no control over what life gives us but we do have control over how we will react to any given situation.
- The raw, agonizing and crushing pain you feel WILL lessen over time.
- Those who aren't twins don't get it, but that's okay. They are trying and that's what matters.
- Allow yourself the time to cry. To be mad. To be frustrated but don't stay in that place.
- That life is still full of beauty and blessings and that gratitude truly is a game changer.
- Deep loss can propel you to greater things then you ever thought possible. You make a conscience decision everyday to become bigger than your circumstance and that takes courage.
- That acquaintances can turn into friendships with great depth if you don't judge or compare them to the relationship you had with your twin. Even if they are fellow twins who have gone through twin loss. It won't ever come close but love people anyways. They can help you through the really rough times.
I thank Vanessa everyday for giving me the gift of twinship for 33 years. I wouldn't have changed a single minute of it. Twins Honour.